Five ways to mental wellbeing

We follow the Government’s five ways to mental wellbeing* in our work with families and children affected by domestic abuse.

Be active

Be active is the third area of wellbeing. By helping children to be active in making positive changes and/or working on their trauma recovery, you can help them understand their emotions, establish healthy boundaries and develop healthy relationships:

Be active – physically
Be active – practically
Be active – emotionally

Be active – physically

When we exercise, our bodies release chemicals called endorphins. In both children and adults, endorphins can help to boost self-esteem, reduce stress and keep feelings of depression & anxiety at bay.

But as adults, we also know how easy it is to get stuck in a rut of sitting around and not doing very much. Helping children to think about the physical activities they enjoy can give them something positive to focus on that can help improve their health, fitness, confidence and mental wellbeing.

Why not help them get started with a list of likes and dislikes? Running. Cycling. Scootering. Dancing. Hopping. Make age-appropriate suggestions to help them expand their lists. Think about excuses that children and adults often make for not doing exercise…

“I don’t like exercise.”
“I’m no good at it.”
“It’s too cold/wet outside.”
“I haven’t got time.”
“I have a disability so I can’t do…”

Re-frame statements such as these by leading a discussion where you anticipate excuses and offer solutions before they come up…

Is there anything we enjoy that we might not realise is exercise? (e.g. going to the park)
Is there something we’re good at that we forgot about?
- Maybe the thing we’re good at is something we haven’t tried yet?
- The best way to become good at something is to keep trying!
What physical activities can we do indoors when it’s cold/raining outside? (e.g. Joe Wicks video)
Exercise doesn’t have to take a long time. Encourage children to think about ways to incorporate exercise into their everyday lives (e.g. walking to school)
Acknowledge that some disabilities might cause some limitations, but help children with disabilities to think of things they can do – or might be able to try. You could use Paralympic events/athletes to illustrate if relevant/appropriate.

Be active – practically

Childhood trauma – such as experiencing domestic abuse – can have a profound impact on an individual throughout their entire lives. Early intervention – providing support at the earliest opportunity – is one of the most effective ways to ensure effective trauma recovery.

Practical steps for very young children

Following intervention, practical steps for very young children usually involve making sure resources are available and support sessions have been scheduled in order to maximise the chances of a full recovery.

The support and resources offered will – of course – vary from child-to-child. But pictures and props are great for very young children who don’t have the vocabulary they need to express their emotions verbally.

Think about the tools the young child/ren you’re working with might need:

Play therapy toys (e.g. Monkey Bob)
Feelings faces
Colouring books
Age-appropriate therapeutic stories/books

Practical steps for older children

Older children can take more personal responsibility for the practical elements of their recovery. They might set reminders to carry out ‘homework’ after counselling sessions. Or they might take copies of worksheets so they can complete set tasks in their own time.

Think about the tools the older child/ren you’re working with might need. They can use pictures and props too. But they might also use…

Journals
Feelings charts/trackers
Handouts, worksheets & booklets
Age-appropriate therapeutic stories/books
Safety plans

Whether you’re working with very young children or older children, help them take practical steps towards recovering from trauma by ensuring they have the tools and resources they need, when they are needed.

Be active – emotionally

The emotional impact of childhood trauma can last a lifetime. That’s why emotions – especially learning to cope with difficult emotions – play such a huge part in helping people move on from adverse childhood experiences (ACEs).

For very young children and older children, the emotional and practical steps towards domestic abuse recovery are often intertwined.

Emotional steps for very young children

Emotional steps for very young children might involve using play therapy, art, stories or feelings faces to identify and describe their emotions. They might involve giving new labels to feelings that a child doesn’t know the name for. They might involve assigning emotions to a toy or cartoon character to help solve problems or build skills.

Emotional steps for older children

Older children can use things like feelings faces too – with a feelings chart/tracker or within a more comprehensive recovery journal. Journaling is another great way for older children to learn new coping mechanisms for managing difficult emotions when they arise.

With (broadly-speaking) a more sophisticated vocabulary, older children will often benefit from talking therapy too. Joining peer support groups and meeting other children with similar experiences can sometimes be just as beneficial as 1-2-1 counselling.

Every child is unique, so the types of resources, tools and support that might help improve their mental wellbeing will depend on things like the nature of their ACEs and their individual personalities.

Emotional steps for children of all ages

You can help children of all ages to improve their mental wellbeing by developing their independence and confidence. The smallest of accomplishments can boost a child’s self-esteem immeasurably.

Think about the child/ren you’re working with. What do they enjoy doing? What makes them tick? Think about how you might help them gain some independence and confidence through their areas of interest. Helping children to set goals will result in frequent boosts to their self-esteem and an overall improvement to their emotional wellbeing.

Depending on their age, they might want to…

Tie their own shoelaces
Write their own name
Colour in within the lines
Finish the next level on a computer game
Cook a meal
Paint a picture
Learn the words to a song
Complete a puzzle

Developing independence and self-confidence can do wonders for a child’s wellbeing. But this isn’t just about recovering from childhood trauma. It’s about developing assertiveness, establishing healthy boundaries and ensuring that future relationships are healthy.

Be active – physically, practically & emotionally

By encouraging children to take physical, practical and emotional action to recover from childhood trauma, you’ll help them move towards a brighter future.

Adverse childhood experiences shouldn’t make a happy and fulfilling life out of the question. All children deserve the chance to feel worthy of love and respect. All children deserve the chance to live free from the fear of domestic abuse.

If you work with children that have been affected by domestic abuse – whether witnessing abuse between adults or directed towards the child themselves – contact us to find out how you can help them take physical, practical and emotional steps to improve their wellbeing and recover from their experiences.

GET IN TOUCH

The five areas of wellbeing are:

Connect: Strengthening relationships with others – and feeling close to and valued by others – is critical to boosting wellbeing.
Keep learning: Being curious and seeking out new experiences positively stimulates the brain.
Be active: Being physically active improves physical health and can improve mood and wellbeing and decrease stress, depression and anxiety.
Give: Carrying out acts of kindness – whether small or large – can increase happiness, life satisfaction and general sense of wellbeing.
Take notice: Paying more attention to the present moment – to thoughts and feelings and to the world around us – boosts our wellbeing.