Behaviour Change

Children’s behaviour depends on their age, personality and physical and emotional development. Child behaviour that is disruptive or has the potential to be harmful is usually considered to be problematic.

There are lots of reasons why a child might display negative behaviours. They could be frightened, frustrated or confused and unable to cope with or describe their thoughts and feelings. They might have learnt the negative behaviour from the adults around them. Or they might be responding to a new situation – such as the arrival of a new sibling, moving house or domestic abuse.

Domestic violence & children’s behaviour

The link between domestic violence and children’s behaviour is well documented. Children who witness domestic violence in the adults around them are likely to display negative behaviours in response to the emotions they develop within that environment.

In theory, the most effective way to tackle the issue of domestic violence and children’s behaviour is for children to be removed from the abusive situation. But in practice, this isn’t always possible – particularly in cases where the abuse isn’t physical, isn’t ‘on record’ or isn’t directed specifically at the child.

We know that children who experience domestic violence – even if it’s not directed at them – can suffer lifelong emotional distress. So when we work with children who’ve experienced domestic abuse, we need to consider that they might have a lot of emotional trauma to work through before we start to see positive changes in their behaviour.

Behaviour change therapy for children

There are lots of different ways to encourage children to display more positive behaviours that can be used by parents and professionals alike (in fact, behaviour change is often most effective when carers and professionals are in agreement over which methods to try and how to implement them).

Time Out

Time out is a tool that can be used to quickly remove children from a potentially harmful situation and give them a safe, quiet space to cool down. Adults and children need to agree in advance the behaviours that will result in time out (usually aggressive or harmful actions such as hitting, biting, throwing or kicking) and give a warning after the first incident.

Calm and composed implementation of time out tends to be more effective than losing control and shouting or displaying the kind of aggressive behaviours we’re trying to discourage. Time out can also be used effectively by children as a way to remove themselves from a frustrating or potentially explosive situation and have time for a bit of quiet self-reflection.

Reward Systems

Reward systems can be a great way to encourage positive behaviours. It can take a while for children to understand how their reward system works, so this approach requires patience and perseverance before you start to notice a change in behaviour. Reward systems are effective because they don’t involve punishment (or negative attention) when children don’t do what’s expected. They simply reward / positively reinforce the positive behaviours.

You might find our time out and calm breathing worksheets helpful if you’re working on behaviour change with children and young people. Feel free to download copies by clicking on the images below:

Behavioural therapy for children & toddlers

For young children – especially under sevens – play therapy can be a really effective behaviour change tool. Play therapy is often more effective than traditional cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) in this age group because playing usually comes more naturally to young children than sitting and talking.

For toddlers and preschool children, this is especially significant because we know that early intervention is one of the most effective ways to help young children who have been affected by domestic abuse. Young children are well positioned to recover from their trauma and respond well to behaviour change therapy.

Monkey Bob for YOUNG children & toddlers

Monkey Bob is used in schools, hospitals and professional settings as well as in the home to help toddlers and young children talk about their wishes and feelings. A friendly, bright and cheerful character, he can be used in directive and non-directive play to encourage children to identify their emotions and to learn new strategies for coping different feelings when they arise. Monkey Bob is the much-loved character of choice for many professionals working on behaviour change in young children.

Visit the Monkey Bob shop to place your order now. Or read our resources page for more about supporting children and young people. Just contact us if you have any questions.